Life's A Handful

Basketball and Cheer... it must be Saturday

2012-01-28T19:43:00.045-05:00

The basketball and cheer season is drawing quickly to a close. Funny, I think I'm actually going to be sad when it's all over. I finally have beeen conditioned to block out the auditory assault that is basketball.

The auditory assualt that is Al's yelling on the other hand... (ha ha ha ...Just kidding. He's a very proud dad.)

Check out Nick's (number 00) two ponts!

He starts by throwing in the ball, steps in, gets the ball passed back, and ...up and IN!

Callia pulled a groin muscle two weeks ago, and has been unable to tumble. So, I recorded one of the simplest cheers that the girls do. Callia begins in the second row (mid-screen), she moves to the very back to "back spot" (and catch) the girl who goes up.

I'm really going to miss these sweet days.

A "Yes" from App!!

2012-01-25T22:40:00.001-05:00

After visiting three state colleges, very analytical Dylan made list after list of pros and cons, charts of various comparisons, and talked to tons of people who were at or went to each of the universities.

Today we are one step closer to a final decision! Dylan was accepted at Appalachian State University.

Bow WOW!

2012-01-21T17:14:00.000-05:00

The "Dog Gone Good Time Party" fundraiser to build a local dog park was sold out. It was Ann's idea to volunteer, and Irene and I jumped in too.

We got to enjoy the party for the first two hours, and at 9pm, Irene and I became "coat check girls" while Ann served wine.

We hope that Xena (mine) , Graci (Ann's) , and Jersey (Irene's) get to enjoy the dog park someday soon!

Two Adoption Stories that Criss and Cross ... again.

2012-01-19T18:16:00.006-05:00

***Some "names" have been changed here to respect their privacy.

When Al was 20 years old, the young woman in Al’s life- "Jill Bird," gave birth to a baby boy. (Photo: circa 1985)

When "Baby Q" was about 6 months old, Jill decided to move away. Her parting words included "Baby Q is not even yours."  Al watched Jill board a plane with Baby Q and Al never saw them again.  Months later he received paperwork informing him that the baby’s name was being changed to "James Bird."

About four years later, Al’s parents got a phone call asking them to take custody of little James because Jill was in some sort of trouble. Not wanting to open up old wounds for their only son, now nearly 25 years old, Al's parents said "no" without even telling Al about the call.

Nearly fifteen years later, on Valentine's Day, Al and I were contacted by Jill Bird. She told Al that he *IS James’ father, and that James was adopted by a family in NJ when he was five. She said James, now named "James Aime" wanted to "get to know" Al.    At our request, all parties did a DNA test, and soon we all learned that Al was, in fact, James' biological father. James spoke to Al by phone a few times. James indicated that Jill had tracked him down, and that he was quite happy with the family he was raised by. Al and James emailed occasionally for years and respectfully keep tabs on each other through the wonderful and subtle world of online social networking.  Perfect for both parties.

Now ... take that nice story and file that away for now.   We are going to go back EVEN farther... back a couple of decades.

This is a photo of Al as a baby.

Al has always known that he was adopted.  In 1965, at the age of 6 weeks old, Al's parents picked him up from a Catholic infant/maternity home in upstate NY and brought him to his forever home.

Al grew up as an only child and his parents adored him. He was very loved and never had any interest in finding his birth parents.

A few years ago, after some health issues arose, and his parents' health began to decline, he realized that once his elderly parents passed, that he would have no family besides his fabulous wife and children.

He began to wonder about his biological parents and family.  Al knows his birth name, and his nationality, but not much else. He remembers someone telling him at some point that he had eleven biological siblings, but no one knows where that "fact" came from.

Recently a Google search connected us to Lily, who is searching for her 11th sibling.  Lily's lost sibling is one year younger than her.

Al and Lily have the same (birth) last names, the same nationality, the same adoption state, and the birth dates are within months of a match. After exchanging photos, we all agree that they even look alike. Could Lily and Al have found their lost biologic siblings? -We still don't know. Some details don't match, but NY state adoption laws make it very difficult to confirm some of the details. The folks there have promised to pull the 1965 micro-fiche to see what they are allowed to disclose to Al.   That. just. seems. so. unfair.   You would think all that information is your birthright. Sadly, it seems his birth secrets" died with the nuns that cared for him for 6 weeks.

After each reading some adoption stories online today, Al found out that this particular infant/maternity home is accused of some pretty unconventional practices. It makes us wonder if the little bit of information that he has is even accurate!

Al and Lily spoke on the phone today. While chatting with Lily, Al says, "Your last name is Aime?"  Lily says "yes." Al says, "You don't by any chance know a 26 year old guy named "James Aime," do you?   Lily says, "My nephew is James Aime. How do you know James?"   When Al explains that he is James' biological father, everyone freaks out!

Lily's husband's brother is James' adoptive father.  Lily is James' aunt by marriage (and adoption).
Al is James' biological father.  So, Lily *could be James' biological aunt too, if she and Al end up being siblings.

How CRAZY is that coincidence!?

Even if Lily and Al are not long lost siblings, how incredible is it that out of the millions of people involved with adoption, the very first person Al has spoken to about being a potential sibling - is someone who he has "two-degrees of separation" to already?!

Just weird!

Dylan's Senior Shadowing

2012-01-17T21:53:00.000-05:00

For one week in January, BMHS seniors shadow a professional in an area they have interest in pursuing.  Seniors "work" a 30-40 hour week in lieu of taking midterms.  Students begin the process during the summer between Junior and Senior year. They conduct interviews, do research on their mentor and their career, set up schedules, and write multiple papers about the various steps in the process.
Half of Dylan's senior interim project is shadowing a critical care anesthesiologist that we know. The second half is shadowing an orthopaedic P.A.

On his first day, Dylan observed open heart surgery for over 5 hours.  Dylan had so much to talk about afterwards! He detailed the bypass procedure, the pig valves, and how long each step took. He was lucky enough to meet the patient and their family beforehand and was fascinated by the whole process.  At one point, he was even mistaken for a med student, which he thought was GREAT since people usually think is is much younger than 18.
You know, it was during Kevin's senior shadowing project in 2009 that he decided exactly what he is pursuing as a career.  It's pretty wonderful for everyone concerned when that happens.

I love this senior project, and I'm so thankful for the awesome professionals that take our kids under their wing, and share their world for a week.

My momma' gratitude is simply overflowing.

What a difference three years makes...

2012-01-13T09:34:00.004-05:00

It's funny how when Callie first joined cheer, it churned up some unresolved issues of my own adolescence. Being among young people who simply radiated with confidence reminded me so much of what I lacked as a young teen.

In the three and a half years that Callia has been involved in cheer, she has matured ... sure. But she has matured and acquired that "look" of self-assurance.

Can you see it too?

For the "finger followers"

2012-01-11T21:58:00.003-05:00

Day 36 brings an irresistible urge to get back to normalcy.

I joked before my manicure tonight, that I thought we could probably get an acrylic tip on my finger. Al's face was so supremely horrified that I pretended that I was only kidding. (I wasn't.)

My finger is still SUPER hypersensitive, but it is looking so awesome! I did get some polish on it tonight, much to the chagrin of a few well-meaning, but overly cautious folks who love me.
Love,
~ Super Starfish Woman
(Who *WILL probably get an acrylic tip in 2-3 weeks)

"Tooth" or dare?

2012-01-10T16:14:00.011-05:00

The "tooth" is... something dares to be not right in Nick's lower jaw.

When I took him for his dental exam this morning, x-rays revealed what they thought was two artifacts on the film. They repeated the xrays, and these two anomalies were still there.

They referred Nick to an oral surgeon for possible cemetomas.

"Hoop Hoop Hooray"

2012-01-06T23:24:00.004-05:00

For Christmas, one of Dylan and Colton's gifts were tickets to see a Bobcats basketball game.

.

Two tickets + $ for gas = great brother bonding
time. Inadvertently, their joint experience feels like a gift to myself. Nothing makes me happier than seeing my kids enjoying time together.

As a bonus, they actually won tickets to next Friday's game too.

It's TWENTY-twelve

2012-01-01T20:23:00.151-05:00

Good reminder for the new year!

2011 had varying degrees of difficult losses:

~ Although my grandfather passed away at the very end of 2010, his memorial, and most of our family grief swelled in 2011. Visiting Florida in October was so sad without him there, but our time there honored him at the same time.

~ Back in August, all my photographs from 2010 and all our videos from several years were lost when our hard drive was accidentally destroyed. Ugh. There's one to learn from, at least.
.
~ In November, my friend suddenly and unexpectedly lost her husband. Dave was only 3 months older than I, and seeing him lying in the casket really reminded me of the fragility of life. Observing their kids (that are my kids' ages) mourning the loss of their dad was among the strongest empathetic sadness of my life. I physically ache for them.

~ Beginning in April and officially in December, a dear mentor-relationship that I had ended after more than three years of almost daily communication.  He was a steadfast beacon during the most challenging and chaotic years of my life, offered perspectives that I never considered before, challenged my resolve to maintain grace and dignity, and even helped me navigate through the strange world of Corporate America from afar. He changed the person that I am even though we fought (through written word) constantly.
Most of the time, he was an arrogant old grouch and I, a gigantic pain in the ass. Somehow though, we collided, and formed a strange friendship. I'm still inconsolably sad to see it end.

With these varying levels of losses, comes varied life lessons. Some are so easy to grasp, like losing those photo/videos.  The others are so much harder. Like, what can we learn from death? And, what more can I learn from losing someone I was still learning from?

I guess we could refer back to the original thought at the top of this page; surrounding ourselves with people who love us, as a starting point to begin the new year.

Welcome TWENTY-twelve!

May you bring happiness, love, friendship, health, and prosperity to all those that I know and love.

A "Christmas" Tournament ...

2011-12-30T23:34:00.166-05:00

.. sounded like a great idea a month ago.

First, good news: The dreaded basketball sounds of "bounce, bounce, bounce, sneaker squeak, sneaker squeak, bounce, bounce, whistle, whistle, bounce, bounce, bounce, BUZZzzzzzz" are greatly diminished in a carpeted room.

Ha ha ha ... yes the basketball court at this venue, is carpeted!

The "muffled bounce, muffled bounce, muffled bounce, (no sneaker squeaking), muffled bounce, muffled bounce, whistle, whistle, muffled bounce, muffled bounce, muffled bounce, BUZZzzzzzz" was remarkably more tolerable.

Callia and Nick are really enjoying the long fun days with their classmates ... and that is a wonderful thing to watch.

The bad news: Three long days of this though, has been a bit much for me. Especially on the heels of Christmas prep, Christmas, post Christmas visit with the family, and simultaneously wrapping up a tremendous work project, I'm feeling a bit overextended. Since there was no available WiFi at the tournament, I couldn't work remotely on my laptop - even in between my kids' participation. (wah.)

I'd much rather be home with Kevin, who is only home for a short time from college.

Al's working, so it's all me.

Every moment that I'm not sleeping is consumed with some type of obligatory task. (Whine, whine, bitch, whine, whine.)

Finally, the great news: Our Mustangs won the whole thing - taking first place in the Christmas tournament.

Starfish super powers

2011-12-28T16:26:00.006-05:00

See?!
I *do have starfish super powers.

I'm thinking I should keep it simple... a pretty, slim fitting, superhero cape with a big "R" for "regenerate" on it.

(Even if you could not look at the "most excellent gore" photos found in my previous "The Finger" post, you can probably handle today's (Day 22) photo without smelling salts.

Looks great, right?! Okay... so "great" is relative. Sure... I'm still getting the 10% discount at my manicure appointments for awhile. Silver lining much?

The important thing is that I got good news at my appointment today! Dr. M says I am "almost out of the danger zone for osteomyelitis" and the skin graft surgery is on indefinite hold. Yay! The microsurgery the night of the injury may be the worst of it!

Woo-hoo!

***********
So this brings me to something that has absolutely nothing to do with my finger, but has everything to do with me and my "starfish" connection.

Recently I have been asking for a "spiritual sign" or guidance about something that's emotional for me.

When I was looking for a picture of a starfish, I came across the image below. I was immediately drawn to it. When I clicked the link, it brought me to this beautiful poem:

The Starfish

by Loren Eiseley

An old man was walking down the beach just before dawn. In the distance he saw a young man picking up stranded starfish and throwing them back into the sea. As the old man approached the young man, he asked; "Why do you spend so much energy doing what seems to be a waste of time?" The young man explained that the stranded starfish would die if left in the morning sun. "But there must be thousands of beaches and millions of starfish," exclaimed the old man. "How can your efforts make any difference?" The young man looked down at the small starfish in his hand and as he threw it to safety in the sea, he said;
"It makes a difference to this one!"

It made me think...
Sometimes we are the starfish.
Sometimes we are lucky enough to be the starfish thrower.
I'm grateful for both experiences.

On the day after Christmas...

2011-12-26T23:13:00.018-05:00

... my true loves all went south of Charlotte.

The day after Christmas, we drove down to my mom's house to spend another day with everyone, except Kevin. He met Jessica's family back in Boone. My brother, SIL, and nieces are staying with my mom for the holidays.

Soon after we arrived at my mom's, my nieces, and my children were ready for some fun ... up to the clubhouse we went.
The girls swam, while Colton took care of their admission bracelets. (Ashlee thought this was hilarious!)

The guys all headed down to the billiard area. Soon we were all down there and had taken over 4 pool tables.

After dinner we went over to Lowes' Motor Speedway, for their Christmas light display. Zzzzzz Zzzzzz ... BORING!!!!
The best part was when I drove on the speedway and decided to pull out of the slow moving caravan of cars, and give the raceway bank a go. My little SUV felt like it was tilting so far sideways as I drove at a whopping 30 mph. I was whizzing past the other cars (doing about 10 mph) for a short burst, but didn't want to be too much of an asshole so I dropped my inner Nascar driver and got back into the line of "oooh'er and ahhh'ers".

Zzzzz Zzzzzz Zzzz ...

Christmas 2011

2011-12-25T21:10:00.239-05:00

An unexpected result of the four kids always knowing that "Santa is just the spirit and traditions of..." is that at 13, 16, 18, and 20 - nothing has changed about the magic of Christmas morning.

Interestingly, we have our own little "control group" of children: four of the kids have always been "in on" the Santa charade, and one came to us believing in Santa and eventually learned the truth. (More on my feelings about "the big Santa lie" another time.)

When, on Christmas Eve afternoon, I said something about putting gifts under the tree early, my "original" four exclaimed (tongue-in-cheek), "No! Don't ruin the magic!" And for the record, even though they were all laughing and would have been fine with it, we *did wait until everyone went to bed to put out the gifts.

Gift exchange time this year was small, but wonderful. Look at my college kid, wrapping his own gifts WITH bows. Impressive. My kids haven't seen a bow on a gift in years, since their slacker mom barely wraps anything until Christmas Eve!

Not only did Kevin wrap his gift to me, but it was one of my favorite things this year ... a Coach purse! "Oooohhhhhhhhh... (weep) ... I love it ... sniff."

The annual, "wow, look how bad I look without make-up" Christmas morning photo.

After the gifts were exchanged, it was time to make the apple pies.

Nick and Colton were on dual apple-corer-slicer assignment.

Callia had made a pound-cake the night before -which her (horrible) mother ruined!
She decided to put white frosting on it, but didn't have enough. When I went to the store, I bought white "peppermint icing" which she finished putting on the cake.

Ooops. Thennnnnnnn we tasted it. ACK!   We might as well have iced the cake with a tube of COLGATE. Gag.   No one even touched "the toothpaste cake" even after I tried to repair it by shaving chocolate chips all over the top.  Lesson learned there!

Dylan had to work from 11a-6p so last minute, we moved the Christmas dinner plans from my Mom's house to our house.   My brother and his family came from NY and we broke out the Christmas plates and cutlery for their yearly appearance.
Nice. Simple.

Ahhhhhhh...

(Photos below: courtesy of my mom)

Christmas Eve 2011

2011-12-24T14:44:00.000-05:00

Merry Christmas from our family...

...and Xena too.

(The cards of Christmas past)

The Finger

2011-12-21T19:46:00.007-05:00

When I first injured my finger two weeks ago, I initially thought it was going to be "fixed-up" with antiseptic and a bandage. Never did I realize that the next few weeks would be devoted to an exposed (& fractured) bone watch or even that I would have "microsurgery" that same night. I also was unaware of all the scary things that can happen to you if even a little bit of bone is open. Yeah... I could have gone on my whole life without knowing this stuff. Words like "amputation" are those that you never think will apply to you.

But here we are... two weeks of this and I've been really lucky. "Wow-this-is-really-annoying" is far better than some of the alternatives. I've had so many people sending positive thoughts and prayers... and they are obviously working!

If you want to see what happened, first make sure you have really strong stomach before you click the link. It's pretty gory. Okay...

You've been warned.

Click here to see the avulsion injury to my finger. (That's the fancy official name.)

... I have taken the liberty of putting them together in a little time collage. (Sorry. I can't help it. Using images for explanations is part of what I do for a living.)

::Passing you the barf bucket:: .... You're welcome.

Today, Dr M removed the stitches. Thank god! I was really fighting the urge to take them out myself at this point! (heh heh ... get it? "At. this. point." heh heh...)

Then the nurse used a distraction technique and when I looked at her, Dr.M yanked OUT the metal piece that had been holding the nail bed open. Inside, I was like Buddy the Elf getting his blood test. On the outside, however, I just sucked in my breath, held my hand, and whispered (with as much dignity as I could muster at that moment).., "I. didn't. know. you. were. going. to. do. that." and Dr M answered, "Yes. I know. That was my plan." Evil, I tell ya. (Good thing we like him so much.)

Good news:

The outer parts and the pad of my finger are healthy. Having that metal insert (that looked and sounded more like a torture device) for two weeks, actually worked! There is a tiny little nail growing. Yay.

Bad news:

There is still a very small section of exposed bone. (It looked like Jell-O to me at Day 11, but now resembles grape jelly.) Also, the nerves are still all damaged. The sensation is my fingertip is all wacky and weird still.

Then Dr. M said, "We've held off, but I think we are still looking at having to repair this in the O/R. (skin graft) Let's look at again in a week."

... Stay tuned.

Going FIR...

2011-12-11T19:14:00.011-05:00

A whole lot less snowy this year than last year, we returned to Boone to:

find our Christmas tree - check
visit with Kevin and Jess -check
get our family in one place to take our annual Christmas card photo -check

Once again, Kevin, Jessica, and Kat's apartment is all festive and cheery. It makes me so happy to see that. The ornaments on their WHITE tree have some interesting, yet perfect college kid, items. One is a photograph that is the example for where you insert YOUR photo.
"Aww... who are these people?"
"I don't know. They came with the frame."
<::insert laughter::> College humor.

Here is our practice Christmas card shot. I had a vision for something a little more iCreative (hint hint) but wanted a fall-back if that didn't work.  So here's the photo that we did not use. I'll share the real card soon.

*Hey. Do me a favor and note the traces of snow in the background. We drove pretty high up in the mountain to get that. Okay? Did you take a moment to appreciate it?   Great. Thanks.

For the record, this is the same location as when we took our 2003 (denim) and 2004 (scarves) family Christmas cards. It was kind of fun to return to the same place and even funnier to see that the kids had the same impulsivity to throw things repetitively onto the frozen pond instead of patiently and cooperatively taking the family photo.

Also, did anyone else notice that I'm almost the shortest one in my family? I think, for sure, that next year ALL the kids will be taller than me.

Sweet Jessica and Kevin photo.

And here's me!

New Saturday-normal

2011-12-10T18:51:00.051-05:00

Our typical Saturday these days includes hours devoted to school cheer/basketball. It's actually remarkable how much this has bonded Callia and Nick with their schoolmates.
And shhhh... don't tell anyone, but even *I, hater of all activities with prolonged barrage of irritating sound, have actually begun to enjoy it. I'm pretty confident that all this exposure has begun to condition me to tolerate the torturous noise (squeaks, whistles, bounce, buzzers) of basketball... and THAT's saying something.

Although my finger is throbbing so badly, that the pain killers may be positively affecting both senses.

Vicodin for basketball ... hmmm... I wonder if they ever thought to market it for that.

Who got the POINT, hmm?!

2011-12-06T23:49:00.396-05:00

I stared into the double kitchen cabinet, a handle in each hand. I was angry. Really, really angry, and in a moment of temporary insanity, everyone within earshot would soon know it.

It definitely wasn't one of my finest moments. We all have them. Blown gasket, hissy fit, ... a full blown tantrum. You've heard about mothers lifting cars while in a moment of blind adrenaline? Yeah.. kind of like that .. just the evil-twin version.

With every ounce of strength I had, I slammed those kitchen cabinet doors. I even held on to the handles for added force and effect.

Oh. It was quite an effect.

SLAM!

The wave of shock takes a split second. I instinctively grab my left hand and move it over the sink. I see the blood erupt like a volcano, and as the blood begins to pour up and over, I turn on the water.

As the water turns the color of cherry kool-aid in the bottom of the sink, I see it. Well, I *should say I don't see it.
Oh my god... most of the tip of my left index finger is ... gone.

I realize that water isn't going to help. I turn it off, grab paper towels, and squeeze down on what remains of the end of my finger. I tell the kids, "I think I need someone to take me to the hospital. Ummm... wait. Call Dad instead."
I'm not going to pass out.
I'm not going to pass out.
I'm not going to pass out.
I lay my head on the cool kitchen counter and close my eyes.  I hear Colton, "Hey. Mom just chopped her finger off in the cabinet doors. Yup. Okay. Bye." There's nothing quite like the direct bluntness of a teen boy.

Leaning on the counter, I'm trying to absorb the enormity of my stupidity. I let go of the bloody mess in my hand for a moment, and open the cabinet doors. Yup. There it is.

My perfectly manicured fingernail with the entire top half of fingertip flesh attached to it, is sitting there next to the jar of peanut butter. Niiiiiiiice. I pick it up and throw it in the trash can. Dylan yells "NO! you need to bring it with you!" and he and Callie go diving into the kitchen trash can in search of my fingertip, which has now fallen down below an afternoon's worth of teenage snack remnants. I don't even know who was the treasure hunt winner, but Dylan wraps my fingertip in wet paper towel and packs it in a ziplock bag of crushed ice.

My snack size bag of fingertip and ice, and I, was soon in Al's car on our way to the emergency room. It helps having Al as a husband. He's already called ahead and they are waiting for us.   I walk right back.
X-rays are first and I chuckle to myself as I think, "How ridiculous! I just need a bandage."   Not.

The first doctor looks at my hand and says, "Oh. Well. Good thing 'plastic surgery' is here."   Hmmm... is it free-face-lift-with-every-injury day?   Umm no. 'Plastics' are also hand specialists apparently. (Learn something new every day!) The first doctor promptly leaves without even a cursory glance in my fingertip slushee bag.

Suddenly, the nurse appears with TWO Percocets and a cup of water. When I say, "No, I'm okay" she tells me, "Take 'em. You're gonna' need them."  and exits.

I spend the next few minutes making jokes that I'm going to ask the plastic surgeon to throw in a few cosmetic procedures when he comes in.
I'm posting on Facebook with my iPhone, thankful that I only use my right hand to type on that.  Social networking is such a great distraction!

The plastic surgeon gives multiple shots of Lidocaine in the base of my index finger. Okay, maybe I did need the Percocet.   Not since four rounds of natural childbirth has Lamaze breathing come in so handy.

My hand is now one numb lump and I make small talk with my eyes closed as the surgeon begins his work.  Out comes the frozen fingertip-sicle, and the doctor makes the determination that he, in fact, is not going to be able to sew it back on.

I'll spare you all the gory details, but there was a bone show-and-tell moment, where ran an instrument along the dime-sized area of exposed bone, informing us that this was the most concerning part of the avulsed finger because there was not enough tissue to pull over the bone.  Osteomyelitis could result in amputation.

The fracture (yep, add insult to injury; it's broken too) will heal. Lots of tiny plastic-surgeon-style stitches hold the sides of my finger together.  The pad of my finger looks great, albeit bruised.

I think the yuckiest moment was where he reached down and pulled out the "root" of my old fingernail , inserted and sewed a thin metal strip into the slit that used to be a nail bed.

If we can avoid infection, then a skin graft is probably the next step, in about a week. The doctor says it will be weeks of multiple reconstruction procedures at best.   At worst, osteomyelitis and amputation.

"Camp Rock - The Musical"

2011-12-04T19:54:00.073-05:00

In September we learned that Dylan, Colton, and Callia were all going to be in "Camp Rock-The Musical." They performed five shows over the last four days... and the kids had a blast.

All three faced new challenges with this show. Dylan is a bass and his role required the higher octave of a tenor. Colton had to learn to perform hip-hop ... and dancing AND singing at the same time adds a whole new level of difficulty. Callie, who is an eighth grader learned the expectations and dedication of high schoolers.

When there were microphone issues or pitch problems, we had to remind ourselves that the cast and crew are not professionals. These are just kids learning to work together. I know I'm biased, but I think they did a great job. The show was fun to watch and left you, as the song says, "feeling good!"

First, a minute snippet of Dylan...

Then, a minute snippet of Colton...

Finally, here's a 30 minute video that I put together showing lots of the highlights:

BMHS "CampRock-The Musical" Dec 2011 from Christine C.S. on Vimeo.

My in-laws could be a sitcom

2011-11-26T21:54:00.000-05:00

My in-laws are so entertaining in that roll-your-eyeballs kind of way.

First, my MIL thinks she is being polite when she refers to black people as "colored." I realize that she's 80-years-old and rarely goes out, but seriously... she watches TV all day long. Does she hear that antiquated term on TV? Nooooo. My goodness, she must have said it a half dozen times while we were there. I tried the casually-rephrasing-it-back-to-her-correctly trick, but no dice. I cringed every single time until the futile reality set in. Then the kids and I started to exchange looks, and began to grin with the ridiculousness of my efforts.

Soon she got on a I "can't-believe-what-they-put-on-TV" roll. I couldn't help it, when she described how they "even have commercials for Viagra and now some other drug like it -I think it's called 'Extendee' or something." That was it. I started to laugh. "Extendee!? I think that's what it does to their penis!"

She went on and on about commercials, whispering the letters, "K-Y" <::insert massive snort::> and then she exclaimed in her thick Brooklyn accent, "My Gawd, are any of the orifices sacred?!?"

They are unintentionally some pretty funny people.

Our family's "food dye" story...and advice if your kid's reacting too

2011-11-26T14:29:00.005-05:00

"Taste the rainbow" ..?   Yeah, of Hell.

I've written about my four natural children's aversion to food coloring before.

(Dec 2007) - News report: I have not been crazy

Recently a number of people have personally asked me to share my story.  I decided to put it all here, in the hopes that it can help others too.  Certainly seventeen years later (now that my kids are growing up as successful and capable young people) I have a little more credibility than when I was just "that crazy mom."

Phew... where to begin?   Let's start in 1994...

When Kevin was two to three years old, I started to notice that no matter how smart he was, he was easily angered, easily frustrated, and having meltdowns that were more intense than what was developmentally appropriate.

This precocious and precious toddler had a loving stay-at-home mom, was emerged in a language rich environment, educational toys, fresh air, exercise, laughter, socialization, music, art, ... all the things that I learned about when I studied Early Childhood Development in college. Sure, intensity is (still) part of his natural temperament, but my momma-gut knew there was more.

I was completely resistant to the idea for a long while, but finally (to shut people up) I started to manipulate his diet.  Thank God that I did.

It’s very important to tell you this … when I first took food dyes away... it seemed like nothing changed. He would still have meltdowns because that was learned behavior. It didn’t dawn on him to have a different reaction because he rarely felt moderately upset over anything. In his entire life experience at that point, MOST things were a BIG freaking deal. It took lots of patience, love, and gentle redirection to re-learn that. (See Positive Discipline for more on loving guidance.)

The important point is that at first, I thought his new “dye-free” diet wasn’t having any effect – and then Kevin went to a birthday party and had colored cupcakes and candy. Holy shit – it made me realize that I had forgotten how bad it could be.

In the years that followed, this pattern would repeat over and over and over with all four kids. We still face it on occasion! The fact is, parents cannot keep kids in a bubble, but you can teach them awareness (more on that in a bit) and get them (mostly) on board.

In 1995, for some dumb-ass reason it hadn’t dawned on me that Dylan would have the same problem as Kevin. Dylan was 2 when I realized that he had the sensitivity too. Our house was dye free but sometimes after he went for playdates, school functions, or parties, Dylan would cry and cry and cry. He was pathetically sad, fearful, and he did lots of self-soothing (hair twirling and thumb sucking) behavior. Again –that was learned behavior.  Dylan did that kind of stuff so often that I thought tht it was just part of his personality. Dyan's reaction was so opposite of Kevin’s; it didn’t click at first.

With Colton and Callie – I was hyper aware. They too, had personality changes whenever they ate food dye, but I was looking for it. Colton would get impatient, short-tempered, easily angered and then becomes sad and tearful. Callie (still) is the perfect stereotypical hyperactive banana brain on food coloring. She cannot settle down, she moves constantly (gets clumsy, aka, makes messes) and talks non-stop.

My (non-biological) son, Nick, has no reaction to food coloring. We joke that Nick can eat Skittles until rainbows sprout from his head. It is clearly biological.

Although my four children had/have reactions whenever they ate/eat food dye, I have seen similar traits when they are getting sick, are super stressed out, or very hungry.

SO, YOU THINK YOUR CHILD IS SENSITIVE TO FOOD DYE TOO?
My advice:

Red#___, Yellow#___, and Blue#___ are the ones to avoid. They are usually listed at toward the end of the ingredients list.   My kids can eat things colored with annatto, caramel, and carmine and have no reaction. The only exception to the food dye rule (which I don’t understand) is that they can all eat a handful or two of M&M’s with no problem.  Ooh.. think of the old slogan, "Melts in your mouth- not in your hands."    That brings new questions ... Does it really melt in your mouth, or even in your stomach?   Hmmm...

Nah. I'm just going with the conclusion that M&M's are magical.   (Oddly mini-M&M's, in the little tube, are bad.)

My best layman’s understanding of the scientific explanation is this:

* Healthy people have a 1:1 ratio of copper and zinc in their body cells.

* When woman are suffering from PMS –their copper levels are higher than normal.

* Since food dyes are petroleum based (yum … pass the jar of Vaseline) our bodies have trouble breaking it down and digesting it. Our body uses zinc to process and eliminate the petroleum.

*Most people can compensate and recover zinc quickly enough that they never knew that their 1:1 ratio was off.

* Some people (like my darling children) have super compensating bodies. Their bodies either dump massive quantities of zinc OR hold onto every drop of copper that it can absorb OR both. That part isn't clear. The fact is that 1:1 ratio goes completely off and until the body can rebalance itself, they feel a lot like a woman with extremely severe PMS. Imagine that feeling inside developing little kids with little developed coping skills.

* Colton wants me to share that it gets better as they get older. They don’t have to be as careful. At the almost-done-growing stage, they still ABSOLUTELY cannot eat a bag of Skittles or Starbursts, but they don’t have as bad a reaction when they eat some yellow cheese with their sandwich, or a few sprinkles get on their ice cream cake. We’re not sure whether their bodies are better at keeping the 1:1 ratio OR that they have accumulated coping skills to overcome mild reactions.

A few more important things that have worked for us over the last 17 years:

“I’m allergic” is so common today that even little kids get that concept pretty easily, so that’s what we normally say to avoid lots of explaination.

When your child has a reaction, don’t be afraid to state sympathetically out loud, “Oh darn. Food dye sure makes you feel terrible.” The next day, when they are better, talk about how yucky food dye made them feel and let them know that you love them no matter what and want to help him/her. It’s not their fault… just like PMS – they can’t help it. Temptation is everywhere and occasionally they will convince themselves that they can have it, and they will eat it, thinking no one will be able to tell. This is not something I suggest that you try to micro-manage. You can't police them their whole life. What worked for us was to help them notice and understand HOW it makes them feel so they will WANT to avoid it.

We came up with a “trade-up” policy. If they went to a birthday party, or got treats in school, or (ugh) Halloween … they traded in their food dye treats for treats that are equal or better – RIGHT AWAY. For instance, if you pick them up from a party and there goody bag is full of candy, pick out the colored crap (they can have the caramel, and the chocolate) and stop on the way home to get something of their choosing instead.
Annoying -- yes.
Expensive – sometimes.
… but it’s WAY better than the alternative. Eventually, they eagerly came to me with their colored crap, usually already knowing what they wanted as a trade up treat.

Read labels, but before long- it just becomes normal to buy certain brands.

Cheese Its – good     Cheese Nips – bad

Breyer ice cream – mostly good     Sherbets –mostly bad

Peanut Butter Captain Crunch - good     Regular Captain Crunch – bad

Cocoa Pebbles – good     Fruity Pebbles – bad

Boars Head pickles – good     Most others pickles – bad

American Cheese – mostly good     Individually wrapped cheese – mostly bad

You get the idea.

WHAT ELSE HAVE WE TRIED?

I took Kevin and Dylan to a place called the Pfeiffer Institute near Chicago in 1997. They did blood, hair, and urine evaluations on them a few times over the next 4 years. They prescribed a holistic approach using supplements. We did that for about 4 years in addition to eating dye-free.  The supplements just got too expensive when I became a single mom and moved to NC. I think they have closed now. I wonder since insurance companies don't usually pay for holistic treatments,  my guess is the economy just made most people not be able to afford it, like us.

From about 2003-2005, we experimented with the two oldest boys taking enzymes, which helps to break down food in the gut and makes it easier to absorb the proper nutrients. They was no harm in trying it, but I didn't see an enormous change.

It's important to know that just slamming zinc tablets doesn't work. You need other vitamins to support the absorbtion and others to help the body eliminate the copper build-up.

You can probably google "zinc copper imbalance ADHD" or something similar and see what is curently out there. Perhaps there is more current research on it now.

I'm sure there are other treatment out there that could have helped us even more, but digging through the bullshit is hard, time consuming, and expensive. Cuttting out food dyes was the cheapest, easiest and effective choice for my family.

Finally, be prepared. Lots of people will think you are nuts. I will say though, that most people in our lives now only know my kids this (healthy-dye free) way. When people experienced my kids after they "accidentally" ate food dye - the change was so remarkable, that they became total believers in the "allergy."

Thanks for reading and good luck! I'd love to hear your story too. Please comment below to share!

Thanks!

2011-11-24T21:34:00.000-05:00

Thanksgiving 2011 began as it traditionally does in our house. Just as the Macy's Day parade begins, the apple pie assembly line commences.

7 people + 31 apples + parade on surround sound = 4 delicious apple pies!

Al does the boring things like cleaning out and then stuffing the turkey. Eww.

Mom and Bernie arrive at noon, and the feast begins!

Here's me.

Alert the media! I decorated one part of the house! Let's hope I get it down before the Christmas tree goes up.

10 peeps = Buffet style serving!

Jessica & Kevin (as last year, he's celebrating "No-Shave-November") *sigh*

Call it a turkey-tryptophan-induced coma, or from all the carbs.., Whatever!

...I'm pooped.

Even better than raindrops on roses ...

2011-11-23T20:50:00.005-05:00

"...these are a few of my favorite things ..."

When my kids laugh together, and enjoy each other's company.

Hmmm... that doesn't make for very eloquent lyrics.
Oh well. It's still my favorite thing!

Yay! Kevin is home from college for Thanksgiving! Jessica came home with him. Hurray!
Of course, I interrupt the three brothers' moment and "ruin" it with a "look this way" photo. Kevin's expression... "Mom. Seriously?" (ha ha)...

Dylan (~18), Colton (~16), Kevin (~20)

Ahhh... they love me anyway.

2011-11-19T23:21:00.030-05:00

Wake^Forest^Football game tonight!
Great game with some crazy calls. The super enthusiastic crowd was more entertaining than the game itself!

Why do some men feel the need to make the hand gestures of the referees?

Thanks to Mister-Old-Man-In-Front-Of-Me-who STRONGLY gestured "FIRST DOWN" every single time WF got a first. You kept me on task and made me smirk with your adorableness for the entire game.

Growing up I had a neighbor who thought/acted like he was a major-league umpire when the kids played stick ball in the street. That memory came flooding back tonight. It's goofy and unnecessary all rolled into one cute little quirky compulsion.

Once the sun went down, fashion and good hair took a back seat to warmth. I donned a goofy black hat and think I buttoned that leather jacket for the first time ever. I may be from the North, but I've lost my antifreeze in the last decade. Brrrrrrrr...

Oh... WF won solidly. Always a perk.

That's my girl.

2011-11-16T23:15:00.001-05:00

Callie took this in front of our house tonight. Wonder where she gets it?

Welcome to the cult... I mean, club ;-)

2011-11-12T23:59:00.009-05:00

With the symbolic glow of the apple ... on the night of his 18th birthday... we initiated Dylan into the happy little idol worshiping world of the "iPhone."

Here is his baptism into the club.

(sniff sniff) It's. so. beautiful.

The Apple store is SOooooooo awesome.

It made perfect sense that Dylan, our always juggling something guy, wanted to go to a Japanese steak house for his birthday dinner. My mom and Bernie joined us too!

Happy 18th birthday, Dylan!!

2011-11-11T23:54:00.042-05:00

BishMcG high school hosted a dance for the middle school students from their six feeder schools.

After intense deliberations, I was granted teen-approval to take (gasp) "just one" photo before Nick and Callie walked in. After they recovered from that horrifically embarrassing experience, I mercifully left the premises.

Callia danced non-stop for three hours with her friends, and Nick (shocker) got to know tons of girls from the other middle schools. (Ohhhhhh Nick.., our budding ladies'-man)

When I arrived to pick them up, I oh-so-nonchalantly peeked my head in the door. (Really!)

Do you think the significant length of time they both avoided looking in my direction had a direct correlation to how much fun they were having?

They finally came out; hoarse and smiling.

And the curtain falls...

2011-11-06T22:33:00.046-05:00

Although the entire cast did an incredible job, in the interest of time, the video below highlights primarily Dylan and Colton's parts in the play, Miracle Worker.

I have to admit that before the show I suspected that I wouldn't enjoy "Miracle Worker," but I was totally wrong. Not only was it really entertaining, but I got emotionally hooked into the story.

There was more than a few times where "Helen Keller" came to the edge of the stage and I would wince, then remember, "Oh yeah.. she's not really blind." (Repeat.)

Yes, everyone knows that I'm a big enormous MUSH who cries at ... well, anything remotely touching, but even I was surprised that I got misty eyed at every single performance. I mean, geeeeez, I knew how it ended.., and I still got all verklempt.

Suckerrrrrrrrrrr.

Look out for a flying cheer shoe!

2011-11-05T20:54:00.001-04:00

The first competition of Callia's 4th season was luckily, nice and close to home!   Thank goodness!  Their performance yielded them second place in their division.

You can see Callie begin in the center back, at the end of the letter "M" in the word "JaMfest."

At 1:08 she does her tumbling pass, (she enters from the lower-left of the screen) when suddenly, a shoe comes flying out of nowhere!  I thought for SURE that it was Callia's shoe that flew off, but it wasn't.

Funny... even watching this "instant replay" I still think it looks that way.

CheerLEADING and basketball ...

2011-11-05T19:08:00.001-04:00

Oh "yay." A three-day basketball tournament.

Callia cheered for the girls' AND boys' varsity team on Thursday night,

only the girls' varsity team Friday night, and only the varsity boys' team on Saturday.

Nick (#00) played a little more on Saturday than Thursday, but their team finished 5th out of 8.

Brace yourselves...

2011-11-03T23:36:00.139-04:00

It's going to be a crazy next few days.

Let's check in with the kids before the weekend officially starts:

++++++++++++

Kevin - At college.

Kevin's doing very well at school, and despite studying constantly, he seems very happy.

... So, what more could a mom want?

Yup ...just to hug her kid a bit more.

He's not coming home again this weekend, but Thanksgiving is coming, right?

++++++++++++

Dylan and Colton - (top row: 3rd and 2nd from the left, respectively.)

"Miracle Worker" began today with a sell-out crowd of 400 and a standing ovation.

The show continues for the next three days. We'll be there!!

...stay tuned.

++++++++++++

Callia - makes her "traditional cheerleader" debut tonight.

You know... the old-fashioned "pom-pom" kind. As in "leading the crowd in cheers while spectators spectate another sport" kind of activity. In this case, it's her school's basketball teams- both girls and guys.

This "cheer leading" is very different that the sport of "competitive cheer"- which - coincidentally, Callia has her first competition of season #4 *THIS weekend too! Thank goodness it's local!!!

++++++++++++

Nick - Also making a debut this weekend, playing on the school's basketball team.

His basketball season STARTS with a three-day-tournament.

Of course, it is THIS weekend.

Whoooo-hoooooo!

What a crazy weekend it's going to be!!!!

jack "OHhhhhhh" lantern

2011-10-31T23:01:00.193-04:00

Well, that was one sad Halloween.

Don't get me wrong, I've taken my kids trick-or-treating since 1991 ... none of us have been cheated of any "Halloween Herding" moments in any way, shape, or form.

Al and I just found ourselves alone in the car ... one more melancholy than the other.

The fact is, our kids have grown up.

Nick- Just as Dylan and Colton did when they were at OLM, the same "unique vocabulary word" school project is available for the middle school kids at OLM.

Nick was citadel which means a "fortress, typically on high ground, protecting or dominating a city"

After school, however, he shed his homemade costume for ... nothing. He went trick-or-treating ... in. his. street. clothes. It feels a little too much like door-to-door "begging" instead of a holiday celebration, for me. Next year, our rule is, "no costume - no trick-or-treating."

Callia - She participated in the "Unique Vocabulary Word" project at school too, and her word was, clairvoyant. Clairvoyant is, "the ability to gain information about an object, person, location or physical event through means other than the known human senses."

After school, *she did keep her costume on, but asked us to drop her off at a friends' house in another neighborhood. She barely stopped for this one photo.
I'm "SO embarrassing."

Dylan - After not trick-or-treating last year, or even the year before, Dylan donned his Kermit wear and went out collecting candy with his friend, Ben.

Yep... next year they'll be college students, but somehow they squeezed in one more "spook-tacular" tromp through the neighborhood. I did not agree with that decision and I'm not sure how they didn't get rejected by any candy dolling homeowners. Probably because he and Ben are both so super sweet.

...And then there is Colton.

Colton - dressed up and went out with a group of his friends. They ended up in a Hooters restaurant, where I heard that "the penguin" danced around and took pictures with lots of intoxicated people.

How... ummm... "lovely."

The moral of the story is that we realize that we have outgrown our old traditions. Outgrown traditions left us a little ... misdirected and skattered.

Growing up is hard to do!! We did realize that it is simply time to come up with a new set of BOOtiful ways to celebrate Halloween in the future.

Season #4

2011-10-30T22:25:00.002-04:00

Here we go again!

Who would have guessed when Callia started cheer in 2008, that four years later *she would be one of the main leaders on her team?!
(Heck, I wasn't sure that we would even stay through the end of season #1.)

The kick-off to the new season is always just an exhibition. It's almost like a pep-rally where "we drink the teal Kool-Aid" and receive our mega doses of team spirit. That "oozing" from everywhere really un-nerved me 4 years ago, but ... Oh god ... I think that means I've been converted. (wink wink) Before you know it, I'll be wearing teal wigs, bedazzled jeans, and having "CALLIA's MOM" put on a cheer t-shirt. Heh heh heh... okay... maybe not.

At the season opening "Showcase," there are no judges; just an opportunity to demonstrate their routine to the other extreme teams.

As usual, my mouth agape watching the level 4 and 5 teams, and I practically get a cavity from how sweet the mini-level 1 teams (3-4-year-olds).

Embarrassingly, in the 4 years, I've also gone from being completely SILENT in the stands, and pretty uncomfortable with this whole cheer thing ... to being perfectly comfortable, even screaming my damn head off thistime when my daughter does her tumbling pass. If you watch the routine below, I apologize in advance for your ears bleeding when I scream for Callia. <::blush::>

At 1:18 - Callia jumps forward on the left side and goes to the left corner.

At 1:24 - she begins her tumbling pass and this is where you might want to turn your sound off - until 1:29 (Yes. FIVE entire seconds of painfully eardrum shattering screams - courtesy of me.)

The other whooping, cheering, and laughing (yes, at me) are my friends who are not used to me being so "cheer mom-like."

Oh no. I bet "screaming cheer mom" is the gateway behavior for those bedazzled jeans...

Vacation at the Beach III - Day 5

2011-10-28T22:35:00.000-04:00

The sun didn't make an appearance today either, but it's still in the 80's and my friends in NC and NY are posting about turning on their heat. So, I'm good.

It's our last night in Naples, and traditionally we celebrate with a pizza/wing dinner with our family. It is so much fun, that I never want the night to end!

Here we are tonight! 2011:

Here's everyone in 2009:

Here's everyone in 2010:

Interestingly, Marianne and I have had several conversations about "orbs" appearing in photographs. Some people believe that "these balls of light are the human soul of those who have left the physical world. These balls of light are said to travel in groups and are the most photographed "proof" of a spirit's life force still present in loved ones lives."

So Marianne and I joked that when we took our group photo after our final Naples dinner, that Pop-Pop wouldn't miss the photo op. Marianne said, "When we look at the photo, we have to look for the orbs to see if my dad was there."

After dinner, we all gathered together and took our group photo. We took two photos in a row. Just as Marianne predicted, there are orbs in these photos.
None of us ever moved. The orbs did. Here are the two untouched (except for the red) originals:

Spirit or freak spots??

Vacation at the Beach III - Day 4

2011-10-27T23:04:00.126-04:00

"Gloomy yet warm" was the theme for most of the day.

The sun only made a brief appearance this morning. Although, I really can't complain. In the sum total of three weeks that I've ever spent in Naples, this was the first time that the weather wasn't nearly perfect.

Making the best of it, I sat out on the warm, but cloudy, beach and read the entire book, PUSH. The book's mood mirrored the weather.

Also read today: the latest entry by one of my favorite blogs, Hyperbole and a Half. This blog normally has me laughing to the point of tears. This latest entry however, was a wonderfully poignant post about her recent adventures with depression.

Okay... time to shake off the melancholy blahs.

The highlight of our day was our dinner at a neat little place called, Jack's River Bar. There was no gloom here!

Fun atmosphere, good service, decent food, and a little food challenge that kind of happened by accident.

The Double Trouble – (4) Five oz patties on the bun with cheese, bacon, grilled onions, lettuce, tomatoes, a double order of cheesy bacon fries, dessert & bottomless soft drink. Finish this baby (completely) and receive a souvenir T-shirt and a lifetime place on the wall of fame. Come on...Everyone’s Doing It.

It was actually a great meal deal for $20, and Al and Colton both decided to try it. Our yummy food, and their mission created opportunity for lots of laughs!

At his surrender, Colton said, "Every meal should come with a little white flag."

Then Colton swore he would never eat again, and cautioned us to "not say the word, hamburger. gag."

Until morning, when he will happily finish it!

Vacation at the Beach III - Day 3

2011-10-26T22:39:00.003-04:00

Mom and the kids began with a early game of cornhole.

Heh heh heh ... saying that name makes me feel like I should wash my mouth out with soap.

Then, Wednesday afternoon means one thing at the beach: BBQ and BINGO!

Our third annual BBQ/BINGO yielded no winners from our table this year.

Later, Callia really, REALLY wanted to kayak. She was able to acquire money to rent a kayak for an hour, so we rented another beach kayak so she wouldn't be alone. Callia loved every moment of her hour; while the rest of us happily took turns and enjoyed our 5-20 minutes each.

Sunset #3 was incredible. We watched from the screened-in patio and were serenaded by my mom loudly singing, "Day is done...Gone the Sun..." (tic) Cringing, I began having Girl Scout flashbacks.

The evening brought an interesting twist. My mom wanted to go to one of those "sweepstakes" places. Oh my god... SO not my thing. I really had zero interest in it, but after some "mild" pressure (guilt) I agreed to go with my mom so she wouldn't go alone.

Soon, my grandmother, and Bernie decided to go too, and in keeping with my word, I still went.
...Okay. The gambling gene obviously is non-recessive because that was absolutely NOT something I would ever look to do again. The time spent with my mom and my Nana, however, was great. I was openly amused watching them and by how much they both REALLY seem to enjoy it.

Gambling - not fun.
Mildly mocking your maternal blood line - FUN!

The funniest part was that my mom insisted on giving me a $5 card and my Nana handed me $3 so I could "still be playing" when BINGO started at the top of the hour. I won the $10 prize in that BINGO game.

...and nope. I still have ZERO interest in ever going again, except *maybe as a spectator for people that I like... and like A whole LOT!!

Vacation at the Beach III - Day 2

2011-10-25T22:28:00.013-04:00

Al left with my mom and Bernie to play golf and were gone most of the day. That's fine. Further unwinding, with pensive moments, gazing out across the water, spotting dolphin, peace, quiet, was on my agenda.

The kids and I read, biked, dug in the sand, met my grandmother for lunch, played "catch" on the shoreline, swam (pool/hot tub), played ping pong (Colton beat me twice!), shuffle board, and lots more of my scheduld relaxion on the beach.

"If mom keeps taking our picture, let's make it a bad photo so she'll go away." Brats.

My mom, Bernie and Al returned just in time for the sunset.

Sunset #2: Amazing #2

Vacation at the Beach III - Day 1

2011-10-24T22:23:00.065-04:00

One of the perks of me having only one sibling, is that my mom invites MY family on odd years, and my brother's family on even years to join her for her Naples Florida Beach Week. My brother and SIL declined last year, so we have been lucky enough to go three years in a row!

My body, mind, and soul respond in such an organically calming, earthly manner when I get on the beach, that I question how I function without it.

The kids took turns flying a kite in the morning, and my grandmother and Marianne (and Ray, and Ryan) arrived after lunch.

Sunset: amazing.

Oh Deer!

2011-10-23T21:37:00.042-04:00

First let me offer this disclaimer: I did not photograph the image below. I used PhotoShop to manipulate a photo that I just found on the Internet to accurately depict my story.

6:18 a.m. - We leave in two separate cars heading to Florida. (When I rid myself of the BlackBomber in June, it was replaced by my new ever-so-lovely-but-not-big-enough-for-the whole-gang SUV.)

It's still dark outside, but with my GPS programmed, we are on our way! In tandem, we are cruising along the Interstate. I'm driving said "ever-so-lovely SUV" with Al following right behind. Only 40 minutes into the trip, I sense movement far ahead in the left lane just beyond my headlights. I lightly tap my brakes to signal to Al (behind me) that I see "something."

Instantly, "Oh deer! That's no Patronus, Harry Potter!" There's clearly a deer in the middle of the left lane and although I'm braking harder now; at 70 mph, I'm up to it quicker than you can say, "Expecto Patronum."

I stay in the right lane and in a split-second assess that since the deer is 75% of the way across the double lane highway, I can remain calm. Before I can complete that thought though, the deer turns around, and begins to trot back to the right, across my lane. I hit the brakes hard as I can now, and in my peripheral vision, I see Al swerve and zoom past me on the left, clearly and safely past it.

I, on the other hand am doing all I can to steer straight or left, but not hit the deer that is instantly 5 feet, 3 feet, a foot, ... and now inches from my bumper! My brakes are screeching, the car is shaking, the deer is trotting a bit faster now, and I'm just waiting for the "thump" as my car begins to go off the right side of the road.

The "thump" never came and I'm still not sure how we missed it. Dylan keeps saying, "We had to have touched it. We had to! I could see its back hip against our headlight! We *HAD to have touched it."

Unpuckering everything that can pucker... I regain my composure, and we continue.
13 hours later, we finally arrived at the condo in Florida - just minutes after sunset.

First up tomorrow: "Relaxation" via butt-in-warm-sand!!

2011-10-14T23:10:00.012-04:00

Celebrated Kevin's 20th birthday by going out for a seafood dinner.

Those are our, "Yum! Ice cream cake!" faces.

Happy Birthday to you, Kevin! I love you!

Cheers for cheer

2011-10-14T20:45:00.003-04:00

Callia started extreme cheer at the rip old age of ten. You may laugh but that's pretty old compared to a vast majority of the girls. Lots of the girls start between ages 4 and 6.

In general, I think the older you are when you start a sport, the harder (and slower) it is for it all to "click."

Over the last three years, she has developed confidence, coordination, and she is a hell of a base. Although she could do a few tumbling moves, the whole "throw yourself backwards in the air thing" alluded her unless a spotter was right by her side. I'm convinced it is just a more experienced brain saying, "Are you nuts?!"

Finally last month, it really started to all come together. She could do a running round-off back handspring with a spotter just putting his hand on her lower back,without stopping.

This week ... "CLICK" ... Callia finally can do a running back handspring with no spotter. A whole group of parents and the coached cheered, "Woo-Hoo Callia!!!"

<::Insert face of beaming smiling Callie here::>

I think part of the credit goes to a new friendship that Callia has developed. When a girl named Alicia joined the team this summer (from another cheer association), Callia and she immediately bonded. They are both around the same level (and the same age). Both are "only girls" in a family of brothers. They are always encouraging each other, high-fiving each other, and cheering for the other's accomplishments.

Here they are tonight! Callia is the one with the sweatshirt.

2011-10-13T23:14:00.008-04:00

Kevin took this beautiful photo from his apartment at school with his iPhone.

Then... he came HOME for fall break!

While Dylan was upstairs finalizing his college applications, Colton and Kevin hung out talking, laughing, and being goofy. Nothing makes me happier than watching my kids truly enjoy each other's company.

When they were little and tormenting the shit out of each other on a minute to minute basis, I would say, "Some day your brothers and your sister will be your best friends." They would look at me and make a face that resembles sucking lemons.

They're not "all in" just yet, but by God, I think I was right.

Two decades

2011-10-12T21:18:00.002-04:00

Circa 1992: Kevin was one year old

I am, "Mom to five teenagers" no more.

Kevin is twenty!!!

Twenty.

20.

I have a "child" who is twenty.

I remember being 20 like I remember last year.

How can my child be 20?!

Kevin is coming home in a day or so, and we'll spend the weekend celebrating him.

Perks of Herpetology class

2011-10-09T22:37:00.001-04:00

Kevin, along with other college biology majors, have been "living somewhere in the South Carolina wilderness" since Thursday with no running water (nope... no showers or bathrooms) or beds.

Today, on the last day of their trip, they ventured out of the wilderness and went to Riverbanks Zoo and Garden in Columbia, SC. Kevin said, "I know I look like shit after being in the wilderness for 4 days without running water or a bed, but my prize is getting to pet the Galapagos turtles in the Riverbank Zoo behind the barriers of the exhibit! We are making children cry because they are so jealous :)"

I'm sure Kevin took a loooooong shower when he arrived back in Boone this evening. I can hardly wait to talk to him tomorrow, and hear all about his trip.

Homecoming Dance 2011

2011-10-08T22:43:00.002-04:00

The boys decided to go with their good friends to the Homecoming Dance.
No romances ... just lots of laughs.

Colton and his friends went a bit more formal; meeting beforehand for pictures and then went out all together to a nice restaurant downtown.

Colton and Jack have been friends since 6th grade. Katherine and Christine have been their buddies since freshman year.

Colton and Katherine (red dress) are both ON stage drama kids, while Jack and Christine (black dress) lead the STAGE crew/sound at school.

Colton and Jack = being goofballs!

Dylan decided to go even more casually, and just meet his friends at the dance. Dylan's plan is much more economical, after all.

2011-10-08T15:50:00.000-04:00

It was short. It was sweet.

Today was Nick's last day of volleyball. Their team came in fourth place in the final tournament.

Countdown to Homecoming = Spirit Week

2011-10-03T08:36:00.001-04:00

PAJAMA DAY at BishMcG!!

Trophy Day

2011-10-01T16:49:00.000-04:00

The last regular home game was Trophy Day for the players that are in 8th grade!

Coach made special mention of Nick and how he was the only first year player on the Varsity team.

Al and I both are amazed at how well our two kids are doing in this new school. Sure... we're temporarily WAY broke - but it's worth every penny. Both Nick and Callie have made some really nice friends and their active participation in school events have moved them both right into the heart of the school. The difference is strangely remarkable.

Nick's already thinking about basketball tryouts. Oohhhh myyyy ... how I dread the sound! (Un-ending bounce, bounce, bouncing; the irritating sneaker squeak, sneaker squeak; more ball bouncing; the ear piecing whistles; morrrrrrre ball bouncing; and the nerve bending BUZZzzzer.) Reserving my deprivation tank now!

Callia just made the Varsity cheerleading team, so we'll definitely be at every game either way!!

2011-09-27T23:37:00.001-04:00

Tonight was my triumphant return to classroom teaching! I'm teaching a little course at a small private female college in town.

One of my friends, Judy, is taking my class. She even brought me an apple!!!

The mother of invention...

2011-09-27T22:32:00.004-04:00

Around here, when it rains a lot, these little teeny ants sometimes decide to come inside the house. Yuck. I am horrifically surprised every single time.

Inspired by a castles' moat, I created a "dog food moat" to prevent the damn ants from getting into Xena's food. Her food dish sits in the middle of a bigger deep dish with just a 1/4 inch of water in it.

Works like a charm!

Shopping

2011-09-26T23:59:00.009-04:00

Wearing a school uniform every day makes "School Picture Day" a shopping event.

Callie and I had the hardest time finding anything! Ann and Jaime helped too, but even with the four of us, we were striking out! "Classy and classic" is tough for a tall, thin, thirteen-year-old.

We found youthful clothes, but many of those outfits were not in compliance with the dress code at the school. Too short, too low cut, and straps too thin.

We found a ton of stuff that she would be allowed to wear, but Callie looked, to me, like clothes for someone over thirty or slightly overweight. Now, if I was one to buy clothes for myself, I could have found tons of stuff! Although certainly "in fashion" the big, loose, flowing, tops (pictured in top 4 photos)looked silly on Callie.

Jaime and Callia tried on a few things together, and then Jaime headed home. I thought it was hilarious that she was taking pictures of each outfit as we went store to store.

Callia and I went to a few more stores and finally found a nice black skirt, a simple pretty top, and she is wearing a black cardigan over that.

Star struck!

2011-09-26T22:51:00.083-04:00

Exciting news at our house!

Bish McG high school, is doing the musical, Camp Rock in early December. Both Dylan and Colton auditioned.

Today we learned that Dylan got the part of Shane Grey, who is the male lead. Joe Jonas played Shane in the CampRock movie. It's a huge role, with lots of singing. (12 of 15 songs!) Especially since Dylan is a senior, I'm thrilled beyond belief for him.

Colton got the part of Luke, the slick head of the rival camp. Colton keeps joking that loves that he got the part of the "asshole." I think he's going to enjoy every minute of that character. Colton sings and dances too!

Callia auditioned last Saturday with a bunch of middle school kids. The last time our non high school kids were in a high school play was when 4 of our kids were in PeterPan back in 2008. In PeterPan, Kevin played CaptainHook , Dylan played the top-hatted,and flying John, and both Colton and Callia were LostBoys.
Callia looked A LOT different back then, but the director remembered her. Callia got the part as one of the Camp Rock campers.

"We become what we behold."

2011-09-25T20:53:00.003-04:00

~ Marshall McLuhan

(Callia; taken with my iPhone.)

College football fun

2011-09-24T22:54:00.001-04:00

Crazy college kids convinced the chancellor of the university to do "touch down push-ups."

Funny, yes.

The fact that my kid and his girlfriend are right in there ... hilarious!

Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass ...

2011-09-21T23:22:00.006-04:00

... it's about learning how to laugh in the rain.

2011-09-20T23:11:00.030-04:00

Colton and friends went to the Blink 182 concert in Charlotte NC.

... on a school night.

Proof.

I am totally a cool mom.

Rebuild

2011-09-11T22:04:00.013-04:00

Of course we will "never forget" but let's face it, watching the destruction, the devastation, the enormous death over and over and over will not change the ending. The overwhelming media coverage over the last few days ... hell, every early-September for the the last decade, feels like picking a scab. We just keep bleeding and sometimes it feels like we'll never really let it heal.

I don't know about other people, but every time I allow myself to watch the media cover every. single. detail. again, something within me wants to believe I'm watching a movie. As my chest aches with the grim reality, an odd part of my heart longs for a happy ending this time. An ending where everyone gets out, we find out the planes were empty, and the first responders all leave with high fives and smiles, and they all don't suffer for years and years.

Instead, it ends the same horrific way again - and again we mourn real people with the real families who love them, and fresh tears fall for their loss.

It's like we aren't meant to see that much evil all at once.

Many people have shared their "where they were when ..." story, and here's mine:

Tuesday, September 11, 2001

The Spanish teacher walks into my classroom. Ahhh... it's only 8:50a.m but 40 minutes of freedom sounds delightful.

I reach for my purse to get change for the soda machine in the teacher's lounge and notice that I had just missed a call.  Al called to say that a plane had "accidentally" flew into one of the "twin towers."   I scoffed, "What?! Was the pilot blind?!"   I walked to the classroom next door where the science teacher was alone and we popped on her TV, a huge box, safety strapped to a rolling cart.

We only had the tv on a few minutes when the second plane hit. Like the rest of the world, that moment was permeated by "Oh my god, another one!?" "Please tell me that's a video of what happened earlier." and then, "Oh my god, no." and the slow and terrifying realization that these were not accidents.

Then... it hit me.  My mom. She's in Manhattan today. She went into the city to celebrate her 53rd birthday.  My children's dad (my ex) ...where the hell is he working? Did he tell me? I can't recall how, but I soon knew that my dad, my brother, my closest friend, her husband were all fine. I dialed my ex-husband, my mother, then her boyfriend, over and over.  I dialed them, then redial, redial, redial.

My ex-husband finally answers. He was just across the Hudson River, standing on the roof of the Home Depot (1- on map). "I'm fine. I'm fine. I can see it from here. There is so much smoke. Chris - you won't believe how much smoke."   He later will describe the sound of the towers falling from 2 miles away (A-on map).

My thoughts keep going back to my mom...  Oh my god why can't I reach her, and why is it time to go back to my class already? I meet the principal in the hallway and the tears in my eyes says it all. She tells me that we are on "lockdown" but asks me if I want to leave and go home anyway. She knows that I only moved from NY six weeks ago. I say no but ask to "keep my cell phone with me because ..." - then I say my worst fear aloud - "...I'm afraid my mother went to Windows On The World for her birthday breakfast." I don't think the principal knew what that was, but she hugs me and says, "Of course. Of course." and hurries off to do her "lockdown" duties.

From the next 45 minutes, my mind is whirling. I have no memory of how I explained what was happening in NY to my class, but I know that I did.  At one point another teacher comes in to check on me, knowing that I'm "the new teacher from NY"  and I ask her to watch the kids for a minute. I step outside into the hallway and hit that damn redial button again. Nothing. This time I call my mom's boyfriend's office on Long Island. His secretary answers and tells me that cell towers are down and that I shouldn't worry.
I return to the classroom hoping that she's right.

At 10:35a.m., I reached for the light switch with my back against the closed (and locked) classroom door. Twenty-nine fifth graders stand in two lines in front of me, most clutching their lunchboxes. The lights switching off means silence and they all look up at me to signal they are ready to walk to the cafeteria.

At that very moment of total silence, the cell phone in my hand begins to ring. I turn it over and see an unknown number with a "212" area code. I hit the green button and breathlessly utter, "Hel-- hello?"

"Chris? It's me. I'm okay."  I hear my mom's voice and my hand clasps over my mouth to stifle the choking sobs and I lean against the door - my knees suddenly feeling weak.  Tears are streaming down my face but I'm nodding and smiling to somehow signal to the students that I'm hearing very happy news.

I speak to my mom for just a moment. She is straight up Broadway at the Waldorf Astoria but she can hear the chaos outside. She's safe. We both need to go, and a minute later I'm heading to the lunchroom with my class.  My mother's birthday will never be the same, and that makes me a little sad for her.

I wonder how many of those students, now 19-21 years old, remember that.

By miraculous grace,my family was spared heartwrenching loss. I just hope that as "1 World Trade Center" rises from the earth, that the spirit of those families will rise and rebuild too.

For me, September 11th is a day to celebrate my mom. Not only just because it's her birthday, but because for 90 minutes in 2001, I thought that I lost her.

I love you, Mom. Happy Birthday!

Flipping Joy

2011-09-06T21:34:00.015-04:00

Callia's grown six inches in the last year. Therefore, cheer tumbling got a little more challenging for her.
She was holding back.
Callie would do a standing back handspring if a spotter stood next to her, but that is all.

Today ... a real running back handspring!

I love her obvious pride afterwards.

And then... again ... even better.

For me, her feeling of accomplishment is what's it's all about.

The 10th au revoir

2011-09-03T23:19:00.001-04:00

Blink. Another pool season is drawing to a close.

This summer was strange because I spent the least amount of time at the pool than I have in the entire decade.  A decade... wow.  On the other hand, our younger kids ... still spent MOST of their summer there.

I've talked about our neighborhood pool before. It's not so much just a place to cool off, as it's become a place our kids grew up.  It will probably be one of the places that my children will look back on as one of the most significant places in their lives, especially Colton, Callia and Nick.

If I look at it symbolically, the summer itself is like the stone on a beautiful ring. The ring's band, the school year, is the constant, the stuff that holds it all in place, the element that makes us strong and makes us who we are. All around we go, and then we come to the stone again. The glistening break, the start and the stop in the constant; different, fun, bigger, wider, unique, yet fixed, definitive and memorable.

At the end of season pool party tonight, we look over toward the pool deck/dance floor, and notice that none of our kids are among the wee ones dancing and singing into the DJ's microphone. In fact, two of our kids weren't even there. (Kevin's away at college, and Dylan was at work.) Colton was. He had lifeguarded there during the afternoon shift, and had this evening off. This is Colton's stomping ground now, and it felt perfectly natural for him to spend most of the night chatting with the adults, like he does during his breaks.  Callie and Nick could be seen at all times with the other young teens; laughing, talking, scheming, eating, and playing.

"Pot luck," as always, the least favorite part. Socializing, my most favorite.

Ahhhh... another pool season is drawing to a close. Oh well, season 11 is just eight months away.

Thanks for your photo opinions!

2011-09-02T18:42:00.005-04:00

It is eight months before Dylan graduates high school, but it's time to choose his senior photos.

Thanks to the many people who voted over the last week for the photos that they liked the best.
(Edited 9/10/11 to show results.)

Curtain A (64% of voters chose this, making it the winner.)

Curtain B

Curtain C

Curtain D (5%)

Curtain E (23% - four-way tie for fourth place)

Curtain F (23% - four-way tie for fourth place)

White A

White B (23% - four-way tie for fourth place)

White C (5%)

White D (23% - four-way tie for fourth place)

White E (5%)

White F (47% of voters chose this, making it a tie for second place.)

White G (5%)

Outdoor A (5%)

Outdoor B (11%)

Outdoor C (11%)

Outdoor D (29% of voters chose this photo, making it come in third place)

Outdoor E (47% of voters chose this, tying it for second place.)

Tux A (17%)

Tux B

Tux C

Tux D (17%)

Tux E (17%)

Tux F (17%)

Tux G

My three DRIVING sons

2011-08-30T21:57:00.004-04:00

Two weeks ago, Colton got his driver's license. That same day, Dylan and Colton purchased a car together.

What we failed to say, was that Dylan did not have his driver's license yet. It's pretty humbling to have your younger brother get his license before you - but to not be able to drive the car you just spent two years of your saving to buy - THAT's really tough!

Today though... Dylan FINALLY got his license!!!!!

Dylan celebrated his step into further independence with a quiet smile and suddenly a little more serious attitude. It was the polar opposite of when a jubilant Kevin got his license three years ago.

THREE driving guys. Wow.

*sigh*

"Do-overs" rock

2011-08-28T23:13:00.000-04:00

Hooray for "do-over" birthdays!

Dinner at Village Tavern followed by ice cream cake with most of my favorite people made it a great celebration for my birthday.

"Haaa--appyyy Birrr..." <::screeeeeeeech::> ... Ummm... wait.

2011-08-27T23:59:00.009-04:00

We interrupt this mom's birthday to bring you the activities of the kids...
...Please stand by.

8:30AM - We were off to Greensboro, for Nick's first volleyball games. Their school's team played two different school teams over the next few hours. With the exception of being jammed into a very hot steamy gym, the co-ed volleyball games were actually enjoyable to watch.

12:30PM - Callie and I drove an hour, west, so she could attend a cheer pool party.

Yes, that's my darling daughter wearing someone else's hat. ugh

Wait! Wait! There's me! I'm sitting under the umbrella (white shirt) with the other parents.

6PM - It took another hour to go pick up Dylan from work, and then drive BACK out east so that Dylan and Colton could attend their friend, Gwen's, sweet 16th birthday.

Gwen & Dylan

Colton and Michael

We left Gwen's sweet 16 party late, and got home at almost midnight.

...This has been a "mom's birthday"
Tomorrow, we will celebrate my birthday.

Seriously.

Birthday Eve

2011-08-26T17:17:00.012-04:00

When I came around the corner this morning, and saw this ...

... it took a split second to think, "Oh yeah, it's Friday, and my birthday is tomorrow." I ducked under the birthday-(crime scene tape)-flags, laughing with mild mortification.

"Surprises" are usually my nemesis.., but this is a really joyful view from my seat.

The decorations, home made brownies, cards, balloon, singing candle, and lunch with my team, made it a great birthday-eve.

Just please... do NOT turn on that musical candle again.

2011-08-25T22:22:00.002-04:00

With three years of fantasy football experience, Colton and Al acted as my advisers for my first ever online fantasy team draft with thirteen of my co-workers. Colton and Al sat on either side of me and "coached" me through the first few rounds.

The "trash talk" was all me though. (Yes, that is a requirement of fantasy football.) After a decade of suppressing my wise-ass "Yankee-ism" - this is a time to get reacquainted, touch, and release my inner wisenheimer.

My team name...?

Of course, it's dripping with sarcasm. I am the "Pot Luck Princess."

First day of school 2011 (college)

2011-08-25T09:08:00.012-04:00

It's the first week of school for some other of my favorite people too! Can you believe my first baby is a JUNIOR in college?!

I can't!

I'm glad he'll still send me a first day of school photo.

....Well, when I ask for it 7 or 8 times, he will.

<::big grin::>

He's probably afraid I'll drive to out to the college campus and stalk him like the paparazzi.

Heh heh heh... yup... that's me... the MOMarazzi!

Look! He even sent me one of Jessica too!

First day of school 2011 (8th grade)

2011-08-24T22:49:00.002-04:00

And... our two youngest ones begin their private school education!

Upon their request, we've made the move to Catholic school a year earlier than we had anticipated.

They look so darn cute!

First day of school 2011 (High school)

2011-08-23T23:31:00.039-04:00

This the Dylan's the first day of senior year. Here he is on the first day of freshman year. Quite a difference, huh?

Colton's starting his Junior year. I'll save his comparison pics until next year.

The upset over the school implimenting a uniform policy has faded for the guys, and I actually think they look great.

The biggest change this year is that the boys have their own car. They drive themselves to and from school!

Apparently we need a PetSmart intervention

2011-08-20T15:28:00.000-04:00

Yes, Xena knows how to "throw." She can play catch all by herself!

DASH again

2011-08-16T23:59:00.003-04:00

Although the boys go to the ballpark at least one other time each summer, the annual end-of-summer DASH baseball game has become a family tradition. My employer holds this event each August. and this was our fourth year attending. (2010, 2009 , 2008.)

I'm proud to have my co-workers meet my family. We all talk about our families at work, and work at home, and I love to have them attach faces with the names that they hear.

My colleagues families are so much fun to meet and observe. Their kids are adorable mini-versions of their parents and watching the familiar inflections and facial expressions on their little faces is just remarkable. My guess is that people think that about my not-so-little kids too.

A quick group picture before we leave at the end of the night!!

Cruisin'

2011-08-16T22:28:00.141-04:00

Colton is a licensed driver!!!

16 years and only 3 days old seem SO young to take your driving road test, but Colton really is an excellent and a confident driver. DMV thinks so too, because he passed!!!

Colton has always had an uncanny awareness of where he is. Since he was a really little boy, he has had an incredible sense of direction. We could be driving somewhere that we all believe is new, and Colton would pipe up with, "We've been here before. Remember four years ago when we went ___ . Right over there is a ___." ... and he was correct!

Having that ability made the practical application of driving the only thing he had to focus on, and it shows.

But what good is a license without a car, right?!

Well...

For more than two years, Dylan and Colton have been saving their money for a car. Birthday money, pet sitting money, and then finally real jobs (movie theater for Dylan, and lifeguard and camp counselor-in-training for Colton) has resulted in enough money to buy their own used car!

Since they go to the same high school, and both stay after-school for drama anyway, they made the decision to pool their money and get one nicer vehicle instead of each getting a lesser quality one. The uber ELABORATE agreement of how to handle gas, repairs, and work conflicts is pretty impressive.

They are SO proud and so excited about their VW!!

Dylan says, "CHEESE"

2011-08-15T19:50:00.004-04:00

Dylan donned a tuxedo shirt, bowtie, and fake tuxedo jacket this morning, and took his senior portraits. Yes, a photo that will hang on our wall until he is an old man is important.

That photo follows you. It is the photograph that they pin to your chest at your high school reunions, and the face that your classmates will perpetually see when they stroll down memory lane. You know how high school yearbooks get sprung from the dusty box in the corner of the attic! I just did that recently to write a blog post about our high school uniform.

It's been three years since Kevin's senior picture day but not much has changed at BishMcG high school. Same location (the cafeteria and the court yard), same instructions to bring 3 changes of clothes, and some of the same photographers.

This will be a good and consistent look when the five kids graduation portraits hang all together for all of my eternity.
Yeah... that's me... thinking ahead.

Haircut, even a shave, and Dylan was ready.

The instructions said you could bring props like a school ring, letter jacket, or an instrument for one of the casual sets.

Dylan brought balls to juggle.

Of course Dylan juggled!

Dylan. juggles. everything ...
...cups, fruit, toys, balls ...
... ... ... but you know what?

It was perfect. The pictures are fantastic!

Colton is 16!

2011-08-13T21:32:00.015-04:00

After opening all his bday cards, hours and hours of Colton's sixteenth birthday was spent car shopping. (Dylan and Colton have been saving up together for quite a while and they are ready!) Colton's only been planning, and telling me exactly what day he is eligible to take his road test for 362 days. ...Just 362.

At our house, the birthday tradition is you pick what we have, or whwere we go, for dinner. Colton chose for us to cook... and the afternoon was spent preparing 3 trays of eggplant rollatini. Yum.

What could be more perfect to celebrate Colton than ice cream cake and preseason football on TV?!

(Colton's birthday "year in review" montage is coming soon. The hard drive that holds all recent family photos and videos has broken and we've called in reinforcements in the form of an uber smart computer guy, rather than sob hysterically.)

To the moms of college freshmen:

2011-08-12T17:41:00.005-04:00

Tomorrow you will put on your best Mona Lisa smile and help set up your child’s dorm room for the very first time. As you put the sheets on this new strange bed, you will make jokes about the sheets getting washed before Christmas, but inside you are thinking that THIS bed (and not the one where you have watched them sleep for their whole life) will be where your child will lay their head every single night. You try to picture them sleeping here and it just doesn't seem right. You worry and wonder if they will spend any time lying there being sad, or even crying. Frankly, they probably will from time to time. Trust me, they will spend more time there smiling, texting, typing, studying, laughing, talking, and yes, eating.

The last few days have been a whir of saying goodbye to friends, tying up loose ends, maybe getting a haircut, a dental check-up, and my god … lots of shopping. The eager-beaver attitude that you shared with your child all summer has now screeched to a mind bending halt and you’re thinking, “Holy shit … how did the time go by so fast?!”

Your kid appears blissfully unaware of ALL the things that will change after today. Perhaps nature sets up that kind of unconscious mental block, or no one would ever leave home.
You cringe a little because you know that they will soon figure out that nearly everything has changed, and it hurts deep inside your chest that they will learn that (and other things) without you for now on.

Without you.

Without you.

WITH.

OUT.

YOU.

<::deep breath::>
Their enthusiasm is contagious, just as most of their emotions have been over the last 18 years, and you catch yourself somewhere between there and feeling like you want, right now, to just STOP all this craziness and take them right back home. Community college isn’t so bad, right?!

You set up their study area near the bed. You place pens and pencils in the cup on the dorm desk, and realize that there isn’t a pencil case or a lunchbox this year. That first day of school photo you take in front of the house each year … won’t happen anymore. You quickly push that thought away and comfort yourself by saying that you’ll call ... a lot.

Tomorrow you will cry. There is no sense fighting it.

Advice?

First, treat yourself to a box of good tissues. The McDonalds napkins in the glove compartment won’t do on the third, fourth, or eighty-second wipe of your face.

Secondly, and most importantly, remind yourself that no one is dying. I know it feels like it. Your child is on the brink of a metamorphosis of becoming a truly independent man or woman. Thank God they aren’t being sent into the jungle, or off to war to learn true independence. Know in your heart that this place is relatively safe and that that they will be happy there.

I’m not going to lie to you. Not since childbirth have you given such an incredibly painful yet completely selfless gift. You will assist in pushing this child out in a whole new way. And it hurts. Personally, I think it’s worse than labor.

Your life, their life, and your relationship with that child will never EVER be the same again. Not necessarily for the worst, but once that chapter closes, you can never go back. Your relationship is going to be very different, in a beautiful way.

Fact is, you love your child more than yourself and you let them go because it is the best thing for that child. Just like the first day of Kindergarten; smile through your tears, offer lots of encouragement even though your heart is falling into pieces.

Tomorrow you will cry. You probably will the next day, and the next day too, except a little less. Don’t worry, they are going to thrive. Promise yourself that you will too.

Much love, and lots of hugs. ~Christine

CNA? ...Y-E-S!!!

2011-08-10T22:30:00.001-04:00

Kevin passed both the state written exam and the state skills test today.

He is now an official CNA.

Next on his agenda, getting a job near his college to gain some clinical experience and prepare for the MCATs in Spring.

Congratulations Kevin!!!

Way to go!
Your family (especially me) loves you so much!

Camp photos

2011-08-10T20:31:00.001-04:00

Today, a few of Callie's camp friends shared their photos. It makes me so happy to see them!!

Callie and seven of the other girls have been together every summer since they were eight years old.

For the last few years, they have kept in touch with each other during the other 50 weeks of the year through Facebook, email and OooVoo. How amazingly special to be able to foster those friendships year after year, huh?

Callie's home!!!!

2011-08-06T23:46:00.009-04:00

2 tanks of gas = $95.00

635 miles of roundtrip driving (with an additional hour chatting with Todd and Debbie) = 13 hours

Callie, Todd, & Colton

Colton and I going to get Callie, hearing two weeks worth of her camp stories, and finally arriving back home = priceless

Uniforms... Now and way back when.

2011-08-05T23:43:00.006-04:00

<--THIS advertisement captures exactly the way that Dylan and Colton feel about the new uniform policy at their high school.

Ha ha... ...think again. They're pissed.

The ten shirt order arrived today, and the boys' enthusiasm was... completely underwhelming. I support the school, and I get all the reasons that uniforms are beneficial. Really. This is not even going to be a big deal by the second week of high school.

You have to empathize with their upset, though. After years of a dress code (that my boys followed), there was no vote, no student or parent contribution to the recent decision. Frankly, for a high school that supports the arts, you'd also think someone could have come up with a logo that is better than just the school's initials in plain font. But like I told the boys, sometimes you have to choose to focus on the good. Life is about being resilient, right?

Except... here it comes. That completely un-helpful primal parental instinct to give the "I-walked-barefoot-uphill-in-the-snow-both-ways..." type of speech.

Listen, I wore a uniform skirt all four years of high school, and let me just say ...the 80's made for some interesting fashion. Your polo shirt is really not that bad. Ours was wayyyyyy worse... (uphill...both ways...)

That led me to dig for proof, and in the CorTaySee archives, discovered these hidden gems:

C'mon now... admit it. That look is smokin' HOT on me.

Hey Christine.., an infant from the 80's wants his teeny tiny bow tie back!!

In high school, I wore the ugliest plaid uniform skirt. (in the snow...barefoot...)

Snow!? Let me tell you about snow! We wore that skirt every single day, even in the winter. (My poor bare legs.) I wouldn't wear pants underneath it because there was no time to change before homeroom. And no, I would never dare pull off pants in front of anyone, even if I had the skirt on to cover me. Scandalous!

Oddly, we could wear ANY collared shirt with that uniform skirt. (Ohhhhh my... note that pretty plaid-on-plaid action in the front row above ...wow.)

Most girls rolled the waistband to make the skirt shorter... but not me. I could have doubled for an extra on Little House on the Prairie.

... dork.

SJB high school fashion meant acting as if the skirt didn't exist. Our shirt, socks, panties, and earrings matched and THAT, my friends, was fashion. Don't be impressed. It was there that my skill in assessorizing peaked and stalled. But yes, you read that correctly ... I admit it; my underwear always matched my shirt. However, there was a VERY good reason.

... Well, my teen-self thought so. You know if I could talk to her now, I'd say:

I know you live with unyielding terror and fear that a boy will flip up your skirt, and then laugh that they saw your underwear. Really .., stop. It won't ever happen. Ever. Besides, even if it had, boys would never buy into your "ingenious" story that they were mistaken and it was really your tucked-in shirt. Boys can be pretty clueless, (sorry guys) but one thing they will KNOW ... beyond a shadow of a doubt ... and that is, if they saw girls' underwear. Somehow time would go into sloooooow mmmmmmotion like a bad action movie scene and that image would be burned into their dopey teen memory in full HD detail. Seriously, relax. You're the epitome of a "good girl" and being color coordinated has its place too. Let's stick with that. Trust me.

Sophomore year. (14-15 years old)

My idea of rebellion during my senior year, was wearing a "dickie" (a fake collar) inside a collarless shirt.

<::Oh the shame::> Say ten Hail Mary's and twenty Our Fathers, you naughty girl. The guilt! The guilt!

Senior year also became the year of the "popped" collar.

And I'll bet money that I was wearing matching leg warmers.

Third time, a charm?

2011-08-01T21:59:00.050-04:00

Uhhhhh ... no.

I think it's time to give up on my ideological expectation that Dylan will have the grand epiphany that Kevin did, when choosing a college.

In April, he visited AppState with Kevin.
In July, we toured NC State.
Today we toured UNC Chapel Hill.

I really expected and really wanted "Carolina" to be "the one" for Dylan. I'm kind of sad for him that it didn't happen.

In my opinion, Carolina (UNCCH) is prettier than NC State, but not as pretty as AppState.

I was surprised that there was no "sale" or blatant marketing effort put into the tour. No free parking, no highly trained tour guides, multimedia presentation, or even a "welcome packet" with a free pen.  It was more like, "Here is a map. Feel free to grab a bottle of water. Just follow the map to the other side of campus. It's about an 8-10 minute walk (in 98 degree weather). There's a change machine by the door if you need more change for the parking meter. It is 25 cents per ten minutes and you'll need about three hours."

Umm... "thanks?"

When Dylan and I finally arrived in the auditorium/lecture hall, we (& about two hundred other people) were lectured to for over an hour by an admissions person who told the crowd, "Even if you are *your school's valedictorian, when you come here - everyone was their schools' valedictorian." It felt discouraging, and elitist. There was just no "wow factor" whatsoever and I was really, REALLY surprised and disappointed by that approach. Dylan is highly intelligent and has the credentials to "get in" but before my kid chooses this place as his new home for four years, I want to feel like you care and want him there.   Dylan is a spirited and tender hearted person first, and a smart person second.

Following the lecture, the young guy who led our walking tour solidified that "only the freaky smart" message. He had just completed his Freshman year and was pretty much ... a dork. Albeit a cute dork.  Polite and obviously intelligent ... but sometimes the smart kids shouldn't try to be cool or amusing.  He came off as goofy and the crowd's deadpan silence following every "joke" made me cringe. Also, as the mom of a rising college Junior, I don't think one year provides enough knowledge or experience to be touring potential students, or the maturity to adequately present a "finished product" student representative.

The "restrictive feel" left us both feeling conflicted. There are still things about the school that I think are a good fit, and Dylan hasn't completed his typical full analysis of pros and cons yet.

*sigh*

So many people I know simply GUSH Carolina Blue pride, that I'm a little stunned by the lack of enthusiasm that we walked away with.   Do we plan a do-over when the students are there?

It's like wanting to go on a date with someone you think is attractive and successful... and they treat you like you should convince them to let you even get to know them.

Pffft.  If you want some of this, you should be extra nice to it first.

Three's Company

2011-07-31T18:58:00.038-04:00

Come and knock on our door.....

We've been waiting for you......

Where the kisses are hers and hers and his,

Three's company too.

Come and dance on on our floor......

Take a step that is new.....

We've a loveable space that needs your face,

Three's company too.

You'll see that life is a frolic and laughter is calling for you......

Down at our rendez-vous,

Three's company, too!!!!!!

Kevin, Kat, and Jessica

Kevin and Jessica's sophomore year apartment was definitely a step up from both of their individual dorm experiences, but the quad-style house was old and needs major improvement in asthetics. Do you remember the toilet bowl lawn ornament from their move-in day? Yeah... that whimisical hippie ambiance lost its appeal quickly. I think the girl living below them playing bongos at 4AM the night before midterms, was definitely a huge turning point in their decision to look elsewhere.

At the same time, their dear friend, Kat, decided that she was ready to move beyond dorm life too. The three of them decided the best solution was to get a nicer apartment all together. Splitting the bills three ways allowed them to move into a modern apartment development especially designed for AppState students just down the main road. It has perks like an indoor pool, workout room, college events, and free internet access.
I hope it will have all the benefits of both college dorm life and independent living... AND most especially that they will all still love each other THIS much (or more) in a year or two.

Oh, I should mention that their new apartment complex is on the side of the mountain, and the view from up there is just beautiful.

So focused on helping them move and set up their stuff into the new apartment; it was a few hours later when it suddenly hit me...

Today was "Junior Year Drop Off Day." I don't know why that never hit me.

Oh no. <::Tears::>

I hate leaving my kids.

Here is a really quick video that Kevin just sent me when I asked how much unpacking (and picture hanging) they have gotten done. You can see the study area, the living room, and then a quick glimpse of the kitchen with their own washer and dryer.

Warped Again

2011-07-26T19:34:00.003-04:00

Today the three boys attended "Warped Tour" for the third year in a row. (2010, and 2009.)

After seeing just a litttle bit of video and hearing the three-brothers-bonding stories, I think that this is one of those subjects where my ignorance is their bliss.

Oooh. Looks. Like. Fun. ...not.

Basket weaving...

2011-07-26T17:54:00.002-04:00

Yes, seriously. They had basket weaving at camp this year and Colton wove me a basket.

He said it took two hours to make this one. (center)

I brought it to work and put M&M's in it. Beautiful, functional, and delicious!

I think I need more M&M's.

2011-07-24T23:59:00.002-04:00

It's camp drop-off day for Callia! After Colton helped his favorite sister carry her stuff to her cabin, he bid his final good-byes to all the counselors while Callia and I made up her bunk.

She chose a top bunk again this year, but this time she brought a fan and an extention cord. She was so excited to see all her camp friends!

A quick photo for mom, and I hugged my girl goodbye for two weeks.

Colton and I head back to NC. Can you believe that I drove a total of 29 hours this weekend!?!?

Photography by me

2011-07-24T21:24:00.001-04:00

Which one do you like better?

2011-07-23T23:23:00.020-04:00

LOOK! It's my Colton!!!

After 28 days and 12 hours, I arrived at camp to pick up Colton (nick-named, "Colto" at camp). After a fast hug, he handed me some of his stuff and 5 minutes later we were in the car heading back to my dad's.

Colton's stories about his four weeks as a camp counselor-in-training made the hour-ride back to my dad's go by in a flash. He really had a great experience, learned to do his own laundry, and is already talking about going for the full nine weeks next summer.

gulp.

Callie just loves her cousins, Alyssa and Ashlee.

At my Dad and Debra's house, they had their annual "camp switch" BBQ for us. So happy to see my brother and his family, and my grandfather.

We spent some time helping my dad get all set up with his new laptop, a new iPhone4, ...and he got wi-fi in his house. Woo-hoo! My dad was always "the cool dad" when I was young. It was so weird that he had gotten so behind technologically. He's back.

Now..if we could only talk him into getting a Facebook account!

Four-generations

*******

Meanwhile.., back at my home in NC, my husband is celebrating his birthday without me.

Happy Birthday Al!!

Girls on the Go

2011-07-22T23:16:00.004-04:00

Callia's packed for camp!

She and I abandon the guys in NC and spend the hottest day of the year driving up to NY in my new SUV.

It was a great day to have lots of girl talk.

We even spent a few hours listening to show tunes.

Knee Deep

2011-07-22T06:57:00.002-04:00

Tuesday the 19th - Partial knee replacement day for Al. He looks awfully cheery in the "before surgery" picture below, huh? (Not for long!) A few minutes later, they sent me out and stuck needles in his hip and spine. Ew. We were a little concerned about him only having a spinal and a nerve block with amnesia medicine, in lieu of general anesthesia.

Wednesday the 20th - Physical Therapy gives Al an "old man walker" but has him up and moving. It was a tough day. Pain meds were essential, but it made Al sick to his stomach. He stayed another day.

Thursday the 21st - After a better day, Al and his trusty walker were released late in the afternoon. I think his leg was replaced by an enormous red hot elephant leg.

Friday the 22nd - The bruise on the inside of Al's leg is pretty impressive. My reaction, "HOLY CRAP! You have gotta' let me take a picture of that!"

He found a video of the procedure he had. If you watch it, you'll know why he is so sore.

2011-07-20T20:34:00.022-04:00

Did you ever wonder what would happen if you put soap in the microwave?

I never did either.

My daughter obviously did. This is what Callia did to a small bar of Neutrogena soap.

Answers to your questions:

1) I have no idea why.

2) Cooked for one minute

3) Yes, the kitchen smelled liked soap afterwards.

4) Looked a lot like an ivory elephant with "Neutrogena" written on the underside.

5) As soon as it cooled, it was hard again.

6) Yes, they put it in the kids' shower and they are using it anyway.

Fight Silly with Bigger Silly

2011-07-20T19:43:00.043-04:00

It hardly seems possible that it was only 6.5 years ago when my oldest child became a teenager.

Waaaay back then these kids were the pioneers of social networking "profile pics" and the "MySpace self portrait" was born.  This segment of teens initiated a "standard teen pose." Most often it was taken slightly overheard, complete with a pouting/scowling face, but it almost always had the subject's arm in the bottom corner extended toward the camera as they held it as far away as their arm could reach.

As our youngest kids now wade through the genesis of their teen years, there is a new "standard teen pose" in TeenTown!   It has modified some; but the "Facebook Self Portrait" is simply everywhere.  The new pose can be found on virtually every teen's Facebook page. It is the "bathroom mirror pose!" The angle is more straight on, and the mirror image almost always show the back of the subject's cell phone held slightly off center by the subject. (Oh! And I can't resist pointing that the potty is often in the background. Uhh... yuck.)

Much to my chagrin, there's an odd subset common amongst the female teens.

The tongue.

"O...M...G."   So ridiculously silly.

I'm assured that girls do the tongue photo "because they think it looks cute." Only a few (bottom left) seem to have any inkling that it could have different connontations. (Yikes) My hope is that this new, yet already worn-out practice will fade quickly. In the meantime, I'm fighting it with humor.

When I got home from work, Callie and I were lying around together talking about our day. She suddenly decided that I should try on these (no-lens) glasses frames that she insists "look cute." She put them on me, and I said, "Do I look cute now?" and did the tongue thing. We took a picture and then laughed and laughed.  Here is my ridiculously horrifying version:

ohhh... attractive, huh?!

Ridiculous? ... yes.

"Cute?" ...ohhh... not so much anymore.

Colton at Camp: 10 days to go

2011-07-13T23:49:00.004-04:00

A swimming hole!? Wow.

Photos that Colton shared from camp today are so rustic- upper New York- magnificant that the scene just begs for a film crew to shoot a fun-loving romantic movie here, ya' know?!

Colton said someone took video at the "BlueHole" too, but here are just some of the photos for now.

Colton is in the white bathing suit.

OMG... if this last photo of Colton wasn't so beautiful, it would. scare. the. hell. out. of. me.

Yup, that would be Colton... in mid-air ... letting go of a rope ... while swinging over ... rocks.
Many. many. rocks.
Holy. shit.

Fetch the smelling salts... <::SWOooooooON::>

SCRUBS a lot

2011-07-12T09:03:00.130-04:00

Scrubs, scrubs, a pair of ugly nursing shoes , a stethoscope, and two eager smiles from Kevin and Dylan!

Kevin: (in blue) Surprisingly, having a 4.0 GPA, being an officer in two college clubs, and great recommendations aren't always enough to get into a good med school.  Sometimes it's having a different perspective, a little experience in health care, and a longing to learn as much as he can.

Kevin came home for ten weeks this summer in order to attend classes to become a Certified Nurse Assistant at the local community college. His clinical experience began this week. He hopes to work as a part-time CNA during the remainder of his undergraduate work.  He hopes that in caring for others' most basic needs, that it will allow him to remain humble as a doctor.

Dylan: (in yellow/beige) This is the third year in a row that Dylan will spend over a hundred hours volunteering through his summer vacation. As he did in 2009, and 2010, he enthusiastically wears his uniform scrubs to the hospital two full days a week. Since Dylan is a rising high-school senior, this is the last summer that he is eligible for this exclusive program. His activity there, and as an Advisory Council member, are such great experiences!

Nanas (the sequel)

2011-07-09T23:00:00.052-04:00

It's a repeat visit to see the Nanas at my mom's house in SC!

My Nana is visiting my mom in SC again, so we traveled down for the day.

While we were there, Nick and Callie went exploring.

They found a little hoppin' friend, but thankfully they set him free once they did a little show and tell for us.

"Oh. Yippee.

Now go wash your hands"

ScissorGASM

2011-07-08T23:02:00.012-04:00

Wayne has cut my hair for almost ten years, and has never been shy about his lack of enthusiasm for my long hair.  For a variety of reasons I decided that it was time for a new look.

Yesterday, after chatting over lunch with my friend, Jason, I decided that I would tell Wayne that I wanted to go a little shorter... perhaps to my shoulder - and add some layers.

This is how it went:

Wayne: Just a trim again,Chris?

Me: Nah... I think we can go for something a little more...

Wayne: YES!!!!  (Fist pumping the air) Stand up!

Me: (apprehensively stands up slowly)

Wayne: (moves behind me and has what can only be described as a scissor orgasm...later, I describe it as a "scissorGASM")

Al: (walks in to the room  JUST as it is happening) <::Putting his hands on top of his head and shrieks,::>   "SWEET JESUS!!!!"

Oh greeeeeeeat... Thanks. That was comforting.

I'm a little freaked out... and on the verge of tears. Can you tell?

Good thing I packed "my angry eyes." ha ha haaaa...

Ahhhhh...the one thing you *CAN count on ... It's hair. It will come back.

Dylan's College Visit #2

2011-07-08T21:42:00.172-04:00

If I was the superstitious sort, I might think that when child #2 did college visit #2, that it would be "love at first site."   When Kevin, (child #1), did college visit #1, I swear I heard the heaven's sing.

#2 visit for my child #2 was great - but not quite enough to induce celestial choirs.

It might surprise people who know him, that uber-feeling Dylan, is overtly serious and calculated when it comes to big decisions. We weren't in the car thirty minutes, when out came the pen and paper to capture all the pros and cons.

Back in April, Dylan's #1 visit was at App with Kevin.   Dylan loves it there, but I wonder if the "big brother tour" was as impressive as a marketing-created, official tour. For selfish reasons, I would love for Dylan to go where Kevin is. But, oh yeah, this is NOT about anyone else, but Dylan, and what HE decides is the best place for him.

Today, visit #2 was at NC State University.

I didn't take the photo on the right, but damn there is a lot of brick at NC State.
Brick. Brick. Brick. Brick and more ... you guessed it ... Brick.
(Okay, I'm comparing it to the rolling green landscape and mountainous scenery of App. Damn. There I go again.)

What matters is that Dylan really liked NC State, and we both felt like he could be happy and successful there. The weather certainly would be nicer at State. They even have a golf course on campus.

When Dylan went to see the stadium, I do think I heard soft angelic murmurs.

(Coming soon: Dylan's #3 visit to the land of Carolina Blue)

Late entries...

2011-07-08T19:42:00.000-04:00

Just added Nick's band concert and Callia's chorus concert from early June.

Fourth of July 2011

2011-07-04T23:51:00.066-04:00

Looking back only four years, it's pretty remarkable how much Callia and Jaime have changed since July 4th 2007.

Callie and Nick enjoyed the annual games including the egg toss and the water balloon toss/fight.

In the evening, Kevin and Jessica arrive from Boone and we head out to the fireworks!

H A P P Y

F O U R T H !!

Colton at camp: 19 to go...

2011-07-04T08:31:00.003-04:00

Colton:
Happy 4th of July!

Colton:
Question: How many idiots does it take to do laundry?
Answer: 3 to be exact.

Hmmm... perhaps we should have had a laundry lesson before Colton went away.

Ooops.

Colton at camp: 22 days to go...

2011-07-01T17:59:00.033-04:00

Have I mentioned how much I love being the iPhone family?! Last year I was so excited to receive a few texts from Colton. This year I've gotten PHOTOGRAPHS... (and YAY!!!)... narrated VIDEO!!!

Colton: "Went hiking at Sam's Point"

Token "Let-Me-Freak-My-Mother-Out" photo

Thanks Colton!

Colton at camp: 28 to go...

2011-06-26T23:10:00.000-04:00

Colton has arrived at camp.

He was nine years old when he first went in 2005. He truly loved it and went back again in 2006, 2007, and 2008. In 2009 he went alone for the first time, as he did in 2010. His seventh year, he returns to work as a C.I.T. (Counselor-In-Training) for FOUR weeks.

28 days feels like a long time for my still-15 year old to be away from home. At least this year, he has some "off time" where he may access his cell phone. I hope to get periodic check-ins from him.